close your eyes.. and enter the world of dreams.

sleep. an escape? an instinct? a survivor skill..? or a luxury...? i guess it's different for everyone, at different times..

i've been looking forward to the holidays. long days, with nothing to do and nothing to think about.. i've been deprived of waking up naturally for too long.. to slowly drift to consciousness and not be forced out of my dreams by blaring sounds and a guilty heart.. i guess that's a luxury too.

i love waking up at 2pm. HAHA. but then again, i cant help but look back on the day and think, oh how wasted. 1/3 of our lives goes to sleeping.. if human beings do not need to sleep, we can accomplish so much more isnt it? if only our bodies did not need the rest... but then again, we'd miss out on so much more. like waking up feeling refreshed and energized.

okay i'll get to the point... wad i really wanted to talk abt today was dreams.. me.. im a science person. i like how everything in this world is made up of atoms and molecules and how everything has a reason behind. lightnings, rainbows, rain, we can explain it all... so.. what abt dreams?

i dont believe our souls fly out of the body of things like that. i think dreams are just images that your mind shows you when your body is resting... i've alws believed that. when i was small, i dreamt abt flying all the time.. very me, given my addiction to speed. but recently.. all i've been dreaming about are things around me.. and they're so real.. so many possible scenarios. so much so that i get confused. i hate it. i wish i had the power to control it all. imagine if i can invent a pill to let ppl dream wadever they want. haha!

but thinking about it, that's the problem. man wants to control everything.. heard of designer babies? if it's a success, soon everyone in the future will be perfect. everyone will be tall, smart, beautiful.. perfect. perfect ROBOTS. we'll all be the same, artificial. yeah yeah there's all these talks abt controlling it, how to make sure this technology is only used for people who really NEEDS it. but they dont realise.. technology is forever. how do we ensure that ten yrs later the people wun misuse it? will science be the downfall of men?

men of science have often mocked at men of religion. indeed, religion is based on nothing but faith. one of my favourite words, it means to believe without seeing.. exactly the opposite of the principles of science.

yet in life.. so many things can be explained, but not understood.. i can learn all there is to learn about the human body.. i can even try to recreate a body myself. but how do i understand why it's made in the first place? how do i accept that i can stop or postponed death, but i'll never know what comes after it? science tells you all about power, but it does not tell you how to control it. how to control yourself.

come tomorrow, it'll be vesak day. =) a special day to me. you should see my house now.. full of decorative colours, fruits and flowers. tomorrow, i'll offer my sincere prayers, wishes and repentance. i do not know if they'll come true. i do not know if it helps, all i know is that i want it.

mentally, emotionally, physically.. we often miss out the last, let us all be spiritually happy.

there're many things i do not understand, even as im typing away i do not know wad is it i really wanna say.. all i know is that to me.. i do not believe that religion is abt someone up there who loves and guides you, or that it is about paying for your sins and enjoying your merits, i just think that religion is about you. what you think. what you believe. i've seen with my own eyes what wonders faith can do to a person..

everyone needs a guardian angel sometimes. someone to believe in.

but who will guard the guardian angels?

how do you believe without seeing? how do i know if these dreams mean anything?

i think im turning into an atheist. lol.

nonsensical post. gah.