明明是好天气却感到下雨的气质。。
全世界只有我在淋雨。。
不是下雨天才会想起。。
其实。。
从来不需要想起。。永远也不会忘记。。

从来没有用华文来blog过，嘿嘿。 感觉好不一样哦。 其实我所有的思想都是用华文来想的，只是华文好难type哦！-_-

今天是韦塞节！现在有好多人在我家 =）可是我好想出门。约了好友。

咳。用华语type到我很pekchek，而且不知道为什么like怪怪的。

刚刚公公告诉我。。 “坏人可以变好人，但别忘了。。好人也可以变坏人。。”
我想。。老人家的话都应该很对吧。。

真的，这世界有很多会消失的美丽。。

但你是你。so i believe.

(HAHA this post sounds so singlish hor. was on d phone when watching ms. universe den my fren was like saying if ms. Singapore answers the final question also need to translate.. into Singlish! the judge will go, "congratulations you'll all lucky and beautiful woman. the question is.." and the translator will go.. "eh, he say conglats arh. you all damn heng and bery the pretty leh. he wan to ask you hor...") LOL.

close your eyes.. and enter the world of dreams.

sleep. an escape? an instinct? a survivor skill..? or a luxury...? i guess it's different for everyone, at different times..

i've been looking forward to the holidays. long days, with nothing to do and nothing to think about.. i've been deprived of waking up naturally for too long.. to slowly drift to consciousness and not be forced out of my dreams by blaring sounds and a guilty heart.. i guess that's a luxury too.

i love waking up at 2pm. HAHA. but then again, i cant help but look back on the day and think, oh how wasted. 1/3 of our lives goes to sleeping.. if human beings do not need to sleep, we can accomplish so much more isnt it? if only our bodies did not need the rest... but then again, we'd miss out on so much more. like waking up feeling refreshed and energized.

okay i'll get to the point... wad i really wanted to talk abt today was dreams.. me.. im a science person. i like how everything in this world is made up of atoms and molecules and how everything has a reason behind. lightnings, rainbows, rain, we can explain it all... so.. what abt dreams?

i dont believe our souls fly out of the body of things like that. i think dreams are just images that your mind shows you when your body is resting... i've alws believed that. when i was small, i dreamt abt flying all the time.. very me, given my addiction to speed. but recently.. all i've been dreaming about are things around me.. and they're so real.. so many possible scenarios. so much so that i get confused. i hate it. i wish i had the power to control it all. imagine if i can invent a pill to let ppl dream wadever they want. haha!

but thinking about it, that's the problem. man wants to control everything.. heard of designer babies? if it's a success, soon everyone in the future will be perfect. everyone will be tall, smart, beautiful.. perfect. perfect ROBOTS. we'll all be the same, artificial. yeah yeah there's all these talks abt controlling it, how to make sure this technology is only used for people who really NEEDS it. but they dont realise.. technology is forever. how do we ensure that ten yrs later the people wun misuse it? will science be the downfall of men?

men of science have often mocked at men of religion. indeed, religion is based on nothing but faith. one of my favourite words, it means to believe without seeing.. exactly the opposite of the principles of science.

yet in life.. so many things can be explained, but not understood.. i can learn all there is to learn about the human body.. i can even try to recreate a body myself. but how do i understand why it's made in the first place? how do i accept that i can stop or postponed death, but i'll never know what comes after it? science tells you all about power, but it does not tell you how to control it. how to control yourself.

come tomorrow, it'll be vesak day. =) a special day to me. you should see my house now.. full of decorative colours, fruits and flowers. tomorrow, i'll offer my sincere prayers, wishes and repentance. i do not know if they'll come true. i do not know if it helps, all i know is that i want it.

mentally, emotionally, physically.. we often miss out the last, let us all be spiritually happy.

there're many things i do not understand, even as im typing away i do not know wad is it i really wanna say.. all i know is that to me.. i do not believe that religion is abt someone up there who loves and guides you, or that it is about paying for your sins and enjoying your merits, i just think that religion is about you. what you think. what you believe. i've seen with my own eyes what wonders faith can do to a person..

everyone needs a guardian angel sometimes. someone to believe in.

but who will guard the guardian angels?

how do you believe without seeing? how do i know if these dreams mean anything?

i think im turning into an atheist. lol.

nonsensical post. gah.

THE HOLIDAYS ARE HERE!!!

happy holidays everyone!

started off with a road trip to malaysia with my beloved family. oh boy it was totally crazy.. my family are loads of fun!

Am happy, then finally worrying..

Shan't tell you why yet ..

- yuhan

second day. dance practice. soccer interclass. full dress rehearsal.

all at the same time.

one word sums it up : screwed.

im sorry people. i tried.

4B rocked today. im so proud of you all. it wasnt an ultimate victory, but we gave our best shot. all the best for the 3rd 4th placings!

it's tmr. let's rock the stage, floorshock.

im totally crazy, as in, really. time now is 3.56am.. i've had one of the longest day ever. and im abt to have another one tmr. okay, today. im supposed to wake up at 6 later.. and im still blogging away. i can forget abt sleeping tonight.

something's bothering me. so much so that no matter how i toss and turn in bed, i just cant enter dreamland. i wonder how humans sleep. hahah yeah right you'll see me sleeping in class tmr. i've never had insomia before. so why now?

i love my sister. talked to her till now, before she fell asleep in the middle of a sentence.. it alws feels good to talk to someone older. i often forget that she is. hello, this is the woman who jumps whenever she's happy. haha. like sister like sister! =) im much calmer than i was this afternoon, but it feels like it'll never be OK again.

but it will be, everyting alws is. and i dnwanna talk abt it, please dun ask me.

so yeah. now, at 4.00 am in the morning, i shall blog abt level camp. Lol. was waiting for photos from others, but it'll come another time.

hmm. this camp 7-11 may, feels more like a tour than a camp. sure, it's in some ulu place, but the facilities were not bad wor. add frens and fun to the equation and it balances up to produce a smiley face. haha.

everyone seems to be going on and on abt how much fun they've had, how much they love their classes, spamming photos, blabla. yea! i had fun too, i love 4b much much, and i took abt a million photos. but somehow i dun see why you'd be interested in knowing abt how we almost melted in the sun visiting orang alis. i dun wanna bore with details of how we'd each take heapfuls of one dish and have crazy meals tgt as a table. i shall not amaze you with how javier alws manages to make a whole fish disappear, or how jolene eats sweets + wrappers. i will not tell you abt the crazy episodes of meiyun, cynthia, and i in the shopping mall. i wun elaborate on how i manage to emerge trumphiant in bridge. i wun tell you abt how i did batik painting, coconut leaf weaving, flew a kite that's higher than the clouds, had a chance to look at another traditional lifestyle. i shant tell you abt going to the beach late at night to watch turtle lay eggs and i cant even see my own feet in the dark.

and as kath said, we're living for the nights.. =D but i still wun tell you abt those nights that're the highlights.. pillow fights, girltalks, beach walks and all.

and in saying nothing, i've just said everyting. COOL RIGHT. haha, not! =/

=P i'll just say that i've learnt alot this camp.. really. i hate it when nothing goes my way. why me? i'd ask. but heys, it has to be someone. so why not me? everytime im angry, i cant control it. i'll say whatever i like, i'll do whatever i feel like doing. i've been like that all my life. but it's wrong. it's childish. and to ppl who know, im sorry. and i'll try to change. *sings* and be a better man.

alright if i were to sum up this camp i'll say, "crazy, fun but expected." it could be better i supposed, but in many ways camp brings back many =) memories.

Class 4B'07.. we rule.



yea 4B love ms low. or mSLOW as it says on our jerseys. =P


=) guess which am i? kay a lil duh.


tallest is the shortest, shortest is the tallest..! haha.

hey you.. looked into the mirror lately?
why, you might surprise yourself.

=/ we're all not who we used to be anymore.

don't you just hate it when you wake up feeling good, having great plans ahead for the day.. then suddenly.. something earth-shattering happened, and everyting was ruined?

it makes me sick that im so vulnerable.

you, oh you.. all the vulgarities in the world cannot describe the anger i feel now. yet i noe it'll subside into sadness again, soon. it alws does.

and no, it's not what you think it is..

hannie, suddenly feel the urge to talk to you. yepps, you're just a phone call away, but sometimes even that seems too far away.

Because people change and leave at the most unexpected moments. Because it is when you needed someone most, you will be posed a challenge to face it yourself. Or perhaps, you had always been that vulnerable, you had always been alone.

So far life has been great. Life has always been great. Because you are always given another alternative to look at things, another opportunity to spice things up, another chance to everything. Life is that fair; if we learn to cherish. Right ?

anyway, i had been burying myself into piles of notes that i didn't have time to think of anything else, except my results. I didn't go shopping anymore, i didn't even use the computer. I was cooped up at home, revising. And in fact, i was so stressed up over this MYEs that my mind blanked out during the real papers. My teacher says she would rather i blank out now than during Os. But then again, she had no idea how much i want to do well in this paper. The sole purpose of doing well is not to give myself a reason to not going back to school during the holidays, but i wanted to do well since i put in so much efforts. and i don't want to always breeze through my papers through luck and nothing else. however, the fact that i cleared my doubts for each subject during this MYE cheered me up quite a lot compared to the previous times ( :

I just have to accept the results, and the accept the fact that I'm viewed through results.

Anyway, thees few months weren't easy for anyone of us i believe. I went back to visit my great grand ma in the midst of all these, she was down with an illness. was very upset bout it, but somehow, he always manage to cheer me up,a bit. haha.

:DDD

anyway, yesterday was fun because i finally tasted the joy of complaining after long shopping walks. first with the girls, then with lings. lings&i played badminton with my younger siblings. hahas. it was fun just sweating out and knowing that despite of all the frauds, i still can feel contentment in this life.


oh, and just something for all to look at, something which i thought was nice, because it's proudly drawn by me ( : i assume it's a robot posing with a victory sign.

KISS ME TO HEAVEN

-Yuhan, wants to be called Kyra, because it is a nice name.