Happy day, Happy yuhan ( : I have so many things to talk about, but they seem to be so scattered. Hmphs, *come back come back !

I saw my good friend, he didn't change much, i was really happy to see him. yes, you can imagine me jumping around excitedly :D

that's for today !

urgh. first week of school and already all my weekends are packed for things like project, cip, and more projects. =x

jus came home from LA documentary filming.. i so love my LA group. hahaha. in short, we get things done. in long, we're dramatic, crazy, ridiculous, and we have hell loads of fun while getting things done. : D i hope it turns out alright though.

anyway, if only we can all teleport. there's always this problem of lateness, with everyone, everywhere... and when people wait for long, people end up getting angry. and thus, ruining a day. heyyy im often on the late end, so i knw. it's not like we wanna be late or wad! it's always the public transport's fault. *nods aggressively* it's also furstrating to be trapped in a bus stop or sth.

was at d bus stop today when i saw this woman trying to handle her five children.. who were like, screaming, shouting, pinching each other or sth. and i thought... if i was her, i'd proably smack one, strangle one, breathe fire at one, tear one apart, and cook the last one. lol! and then i wondered why im so mean. maybe becos they're like, LOUD. or maybe becos they're so WILD.. or maybe... becos i've grown up. i can remember a time where i wondered why all grown ups are always so busy, so easily irritated, so.. not fun. and now, im like that.

once my fren told me i look the kind who wun wanna have children. i was surprised. i lovee children. when i was small i wanted to be a mother of five okay. now, i tink i'd be happy being a mother of two. i wonder when i grow older will i think i have no time for children & dun want any at all? a part of me has always remained young, childish. but another part of me no longer has the patience, the time to play with little kids. and that's bad. if i continue being the way i am now, busy with my work, my frens, my life, having no free time, no patience.. i might become the successful woman i've always wanted to be. i might become the doctor i've always dreamed to be. but.. i'd make a horrible, horrible mother.

noooo. i musnt forget.. not to judge or look down on children, ever. i wanna be a great mum, and so, im determined to learn everything that i need to learn for my children.. including how to be patient. :)

on thurs we watched a documentary on abortion in bio class. we were forewarned about the gruesome-ness of it. and it was pretty bad, tearing the baby apart and pulling them out piece by piece. it was bloody. but at the same time.. i must say i don't agree that abortion should be banned or anything. i agree it's cruel.. but i feel it's necessary if you really cant help it. An unwanted birth, or a birth that'll bring health, or other problems will only lead to a sad, long life. an unwanted existence. why not end the existence before it began. yes, it aint right to deprive the baby of a chance to live at all, but maybe it'll go somewhere better? what if you giving this baby this "right" to live, will only lead to misery in other's existence? & as cruel as it is.. it's a medical process. to terminate a fetus before it came into this world. if it's born as a hated existence, it'll be worse. what if people kill it when it's already born? wun it even be more painful?

abortion's really a complicated issue. it'll of course be better to give birth and put it up for adoption.. some doctors feel that abortion is murder. but i feel that it's only a process. you wouldnt feel bad to dig the embryo of an egg of out the egg would you? isnt it the same? it's technically alive too. it has a chance too. maybe im a heartless and horrible person. or maybe im really suited to be a doctor. haha.

i thought i'd cry. i cry easily. and my bio teacher said that girls have cried after watching this video. but i din cry.. which made me realise why i often cry. it's the helplessness that always got to me. the fact that the way it's just the things ARE, and even if i dun like it there's nth i can do. nothing at all. i hate this. i wish i have the power to do many things. but i just don't. i wish i can make somebody who has changed change back, but i just cant. i hate the fact that too many a times, you just have to accept it.. and watching that film, i know that the mother had a choice, and she wanted it. and that's that.

there's so much to be done. and nothing i feel like doing, at all.

" our dreams must be bigger than our memories. "

so choose not to dwell in those sad memories and instead go all out for your dream. but..
what if your dream hurts more than memories?

=x

lol. now hannie it's my turn to share with you sth i learn in chinese class! hehs. sometimes i really wonder what are so many chinese and english lessons for.. i feel like i learn nth there as compared to other lessons. sad to say, more often that not language classes are more like chiong-hw-under-the-table or chitchat times.. hee.

but language cant be that easily learnt. it's jus an everyday thing. the more exposure, the more experience.. the better you get. i've been speaking chinese all my life. yet i cant write many simple words.. simply becos i never wrote them before. i stick to conversation chinese which makes my essays sounds stupid. no matter what my points.

okay i digress. in chinese tday, we discussed blogs. why, how, and what for... hmm. everyone blogs for different reasons bah. hannie, why do we blog? : D to share, i guess.

im a blogworm. always has been, always will be. i've alws loved books, love seeing other ppl's lives through their eyes. but recently i've been wondering.. maybe it's a bad thing afterall.. maybe sometimes ignorance is bliss.

im crazy. -.-

I learnt two things today. They harp on the same issue, but just different views.

One, during chinese lesson i learnt that we like to enjoy life and does not work hard for what we want that kinda thing. it meant something like we must think not for ourself but for others, always prepare ourselves for hardships in future.

Two, we must learn to take breaks. Stopping from our work isn;t laziness or running away, but it's to recharge to take a bigger step forward. So i remember, sometimes we take a step back to jump further.

So One or Two. I prefer the latter. Because.. I don't know, i prefer to enjoy life ! Life's a joke sometimes, we just have to laugh at ourselves and hey ! you are away from the dark moments ( :

Learn to take a break. You will realise questions you've pondered for hours could be solved within minutes, laughters filled the air so easily, your days ain't draggy but energised; you became yourself, one who isn't tied down by this fast paced world. Enjoy life; One life Live it !

It's pointless. If it's a treasured moment, we wouldn't need diaries. We always feel that jotting down some special days will mean recognition to that day. Then i realised today as i flipped through my diaries, i have forgotten so many of the things i had done in the past. Since i won't remember them, i shouldn't even be writing down. Because they are pretty much insignificant.

Anyway this post was continued from several days ago, it was stagnant since that paragraph. So actulaly, i've forgotten how i wanted to end it, what my content is going to be like.

How many of you believe in inspirations ? I do, but sometimes, i feel that it came to me because God wants to reward me for thinking hard. We always say that we don't have the "feel" to write this composition, but is it because we are too lazy to think, or is it really because we have no ideas. Some of us really think very hard, but always there isn't a really nice plot. And now i know, it's because we are too distracted. Our brain is too filled up with other miscellaneous stuffs, they are minor individually, but as a together, they are enough to chase away all the good plots derived.

I didn't do well for my papers, not because i didn't study hard enough. But because my focus wasn't there. to put it mildly, i was too distracted. i must be too naive to think that i can do well with my phone on, chatting with another person, using the comp, singing along to a song played on the computer. serve me right. =/

i always believed that hard work brings great achievement. until that day i came across this architect, he said " do not believe in inspiration, because if you think hard enough, you will find the solution to your problem. " the only difference between me and him is, he believes in himself, i believe in divinity. naive and childish.

Now our eyes meet, i have this crazy plan
it had hatched inside my head since zillions __ ago
i want to run away with you
to a land with just you&i, flowers&trees, the sun&the moon
Because i don't like overnight disputes, brewing jealousy
i prefer quiet time with you, lovely days with you
and this crazy plan, i will never stop thinking about it !
Honey, get me ? ( :

school's cool. aint totally true but it rhymes. =P

school's fun anyway. =) feels good to be back. back to us multi-tasking during every lesson. back to chitchats and gossips and laughter and jokes and times spent just stoning. back to recesses and afterschool outings and shopping and study sessions. back to me & my peers.

BUT it's also back to early mornings and late nights. to homework and tests. to stress eating all of us up. it's almost enough to make me want the holidays back. and it's only the second day!

first day was scary. first day alws feel scary. i dnknw why. it's the same old ppl at the same old place. u'd think i'd have gotten used to it after 3 and a half yrs right.. but nah, first days alws makes me feel jittery. and i aint the only one. ;P

feels funny to be putting on sch u. everyday after nt wearing it for one whole mth hor... but when i was putting it on i realised that every single student in Singapore is getting ready for school after one whole mth too... and that makes it all better.

i love my daughter, rain. =)

hehs. it aint easy. to tell yourself you gotta study you gotta study when it all seems so far away. but im getting used to it! frens help though. i believe in peer studying. hehs. tday was in school till 8+. ugh. and we went for an evening jog around the track. LOL.

59 days to exams.

it's the final lap.. i jus wanna put in all i have..

but i guess now im just disappointed and discouraged.
miracles just don't happen to everybody i guess. funny, i aint even sure if it's a miracle i really really wanted. but it just's sad. that it din happen. hahaha.

im turning blue. oh no. i want to be pink. happyhappypink.

AHHHHhhhhhhhhhHHHHhhhhhHHHHHHHHHH!!
BWAHHHhhHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHHhH!!!aRghHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHhhhhhhhhhhhhhHHHHHHhhhhh!!!!!

omigod omigod OMYGOD.

=x please. please let a miracle happen.

dntink abt it. dntink abt it. dntink abt it. i cant deal with disappointments.

im feeling so... deliciously happy.

so happy. really happy. big-smiley-face happy.

why? becos of.. nothing. haha! dn -_- me. im serious. nothing's wrong, and nothing especially right happened too. im jus feeling happy, and trust me, you dun need a reason to be happy.

it's been a long time since i felt like this. so fine. so okay. i love how simple everything is now, and where a history essay is the biggest of all my problems. i love my happy family. i love my happy frens. i love happy me. i rmb once i told my fren, i'll never be okay again.. never. but that was a lie, and i knw it now. no one will never be okay again. never is too long a time, even longer than forever.

& i guess i should count my lucky stars. everything seems to be going on fine in this small world of mine. there're no worries abt anyone or anything, there're no commitments, no strings attached and no hidden meanings.

simplicity, it's a beautiful thing.

hee. La filming at faith's hse was omigod-so-hilarious.. i tink im gonna dig a hole and just DIE in there if it ever gets shown to the whole lvl. & if anyone hears or knws abt wad went on behind i'd bet they'd be amazed at our smartness.

& tday started with me & tang super motivated to go mug! thus we paid six dollars for a BRIGHT PINK drink in starbucks.. hmm studying with wen is almost guaranteed productive. well, more than cynthia anyway. =P but.. oh well. who can study for long in ORCHARD? so we soon abandoned our books and go shopping. =D walked from heerens to far east and BACK to cineleisure.. lol. and guess where we went for dinner? YES PASTAMANIA. THE ONE AND ONLY CHOICE!! -.- i sound like a bad commercial.

i love it when it's so simple to talk to someone. when you dun have to think before you speak. when there's no need for polite and measured words. when you can talk abt everyting under the sun and knw you wun be judged.


i knw i dn say it enough, i love you girl.

COS U OWE ME A CHOC SUNDAE. HAHAHAHAHA. -.- kay jus kidding.

i rly hope dreams come true.

i knw i said i wun be blogging much, i planned to spend by the rest of my holidays doing my hw. but instead, i've been stuck staring at the screen wondering why it is so easy to fill this page up with words and so hard to fill my microsoft with words. uhh maybe i shld try writing my history essay here.

Is Hitler a smart man or is he just a damn lucky guy?
A piece of shit. says:
go ask him haha

LOL. i wished.


anyway, this one is for people like jinghuan who reads my blog out of pure boredom and delights in my misfortunes.. haiis. i make every one feel lucky.

embarassing incident #1:

was in the mrt when my earring dropped. wells, it's round. and it rolls! but i was determined to get it back. so i was like crawling around after it in my skirt... & i got the whole carriage helping me look for it..! =) singaporeans are nice. in the end i found it! and when i got off the train, i realised i lost the other one.

embarassing incident #2:

me & cynthia were shopping when we met ms. krishnan, (my history teacher). so she was like, "wow where are you all going? no homework?". so we said tgt, "oh we're going to the library!".. (it was the initial plan anyway)... and then.. we pointed in totally different directions. ms. krishnan raised her eyebrows and went.. "oh.. right."

embarassing incident #3:

one morning, (in a very blurry state okay), i was putting on my contact lens.. den i suddenly realised only got one in the box!! =O so i hollered.. DADDY!!! I LOST MY CONTACT LENS!! so i got my whole family in the bathroom looking for my contact lens, which is already tinted blue so it's easy to find. den suddenly.... daddy: ehh, wad's that in your right eye? me: a contact len lah. daddy: DEN?!?! me: ... but i lost the other one! dere's only one in my box! ... and... and.. there's one in my eye too. oh.. shit.

embarassing incident #4:

hahaha me and woon were talking and walking and suddenly i just naturally directed him to where i was going... which happens to be.. THE LADIES. lolol i totally forgot he was uhh, male. he really feels like my jie mei. well. the more embarassing part was that there were ppl inside the toilet who were giving me funny looks. they must have seen how i tried to direct a male into the females.. sigh.

embarassing incident #5:

I was at the dental clinic, with the dentist hand's inside my mouth. suddenly an incoming message came in and the vibration shocked me.. so i just bite on instinct.. and heard... OWWWWWwwwwwwwwwWwww. uhh. she went for first aid and came back super black face with a plaster. oops.

whyyy is it always me.

And the time has come to get used to holding a pen again.. to pressing calculators and praying hard you wont get "error 2".. to cramming facts into your brains and throwing them away after tests.. to facing the blank computer and trying to squeeze out some kind of decent essay... to putting more quotations marks into your chinese essay so it'll fill uo more zuowen zi... the time has come to put away all holiday-ness and get back to the books. stress all over homework and start worrying for the weekly test.

=x life's hard.

the best thing abt the holidays? i love waking up and stoning.. just lying in bed refusing all the voices telling you it's time to wake up. dreamily thinking abt the day or the day before.

but not for long anymore. come monday, i'll probably jump out of bed when i realise im late. i'll have to run after the school bus and run to assembly.. the mad rush will begin. =(

haiis. alright. the second best thing abt the holidays? outings.. =)

kboxing with mjs, singing songs that ranges from a few weeks old to uhh, the 60th century? lol. it was worth paying $15+ to watch weifu dance bo si mao though.. and duh, me & my jiemei of course have to sing our zhong jie gu dan by mayday! it's gonna be hit song in our album.. which is coming your way soon in all big cd stores! uhh, just look for the best-seller and you'll see that it's me and meiyun's album. =) feel free to ask me for autographs. dn ask meiyun she has ugly handwriting.

2F outing to sentosa was lots of fun too. sentosa! the sun! the sea! the beach! beach volleyball! swimming! and.. getting sunburnt. =x lol. oh yes and we almost went to jail. -.- cos we happily decided to swim in the pool, which is cleaner than the sea anyway. so we naively tailgated into coasta sands resort and was happily swimming when we got caught and thrown out of the resort dripping wet. o.O never even let us bath lor. so bad. okay fine so we werent staying there but there's no sign outside the gate that says "please do not enter if you're not a resident"... so... =)

hahaha photos!

Because naive Yuhan thinks that by ordering expensive food during the family dinner would be enough to burn a hole in her dad's pocket.

" I want this :D "
Exclaiming loudly while flipping each page, pointing to the most expensive dish on the page.

So i guess he could read my mind and wants me to finish eating everything that i ordered since they cannot finish..

):

i don't think i put on much weight, but it saddens me to spoil my diet plan just to make my dad embarrass if he cannot pay.. However, he could settle the bill easily..

): ): ):

I've decided that perhaps by paying for my clothes would be more reasonable ? ahh !

Yuhan, grow up ! when i grow up, i would want my guy to book the whole restaurant with the most beautiful scenery to look at while dining. i will marry him (:

lalala~

chenyuhanchenyuhanchenyuhan! Really love my name so much, the underlying meaning to my chinese name is awesome too ! It makes me feel special !

瑀-
[1] the luster of jade [2] a jadelike pebble [3] smooth and glossy; clean and shining; bright and brilliant [4] transparent; pure [5] bright and clever (person)

涵- [1] damp and marshy; wet [2] [v] contain [3] lenient and broad-minded

Eunice, don't you go puking around at my name again !

well, everyone will have his or her own meaning to their name. like both my brothers' names, their names can be combined to mean 浩翰威严 ! and so many examples, actually all Chinese are afraid of giving their children the wrong name. it has been said that a good name will give you a good life, superstitious but.. precaution is better than cure isn't it ? ( :

Personally i feel that it's still hard work that brings you luxuries, though sometimes i feel that talent alone is enough to do the job.

ultimately, i realised that it's confidence that will bring you success !

By touching you may kill, by keeping away you may possess.

-

Hilarious photos below (((: {result of playing scissors-paper-stone}

omfg im addicted to blogging.

it must be all bcos im allergic to homework.

AHH.

the only thing permanent in life.. is impermanence.

We tend to relate to this truth only in the negative aspect.. we forget the other side of the coin. The rain will come after the sunshine, but sunshine also comes after the rain.. Impermanence means the "constant change" of all phenomena. Everything arises and passes away. When you see this, you're away from sorrow. bcos when you're in suffering, know that "this too, shall pass." take it easy and be realistically hopeful for a change for the better. When in Joy, know that "this too, shall pass". Treasure it, but don't be too attached.

Then, and only then, you'll learn to that change aint something to be feared, but instead, a hope given to us from heaven..

*****

A word conjures up 10,000 different thoughts..
in 10,000 different minds.
What do my words conjure in yours?

Is your thought but one in a million?
How is it different?
What makes you so sure that's wad i really meant?

The world thrives largely on illusions
conjured by deluions.
be ever clear.

Even the words of the enlightened
can become deadly paths for those too deluded.
Cling not to words.
Cling not to your perception of them..
Words are afterall just words..

Whatever it is,
however much,
hope you understand what this means..
Well words can only help this much.

*****

im not sure what i wanted to say either. just that it's 2.34 am now, and i've been having one of those really wierd days.. days where you start thinking and remembering. must have been the rain.

it's funny. i can still remember everything that happened clearly.. sometimes too clearly. i can remember the events. i can remember the words. i can remember how i felt. but till now i still don't understand why. but then again, maybe there isnt a why. maybe it's jus the way things is.

on a lighter note, went to imm tday and i witnessed an ice-skating competition! oh boy it was so.. eggciting. it makes me wanna get onto the ice too! but oh well. i'll start hugging the bar again. sigh.

oh yes and i went to the bank and wanted to make my atm card, and they were like, oh no you're not sixteen. i was like.. =D but i have an ic! and im almost sixteen anyway. it doesnt matter righttttt? the receptionist: "YES it matters. it's only three months till sept or you can get your mum to come. NEXT!!" me...: *hurt*... I'LL BE BACK!!! receptionist: *stuns*

it's just a few months! i went all the way dere & queued for nothing. ugh. what's the big deal? i mean, it's not like whether i breathed for 15 and 3/4 years or 16 years matters to my atm card right.. or watching a show, or wadever.. whyyy isnt my bday on 1st jan! =(

life's hard. at least it is on rainy days.

Within the next few days, i see that my dramatic life would come to an end. No one will hear me saying that i shopped till i thought i would drop dead the next day, or how much i envied the moon being envied by couples in the middle of the night, or me getting drunk !

Actually my life is much of a routine, meeting my beloved, my friends. I realised sometimes, why am i not spending time with my family, because i know they will be with me for a lifetime. everyone of us has taken our family for granted, we know why and ironically, we don't bother to mend the situation.

Today, i looked down through the window from the 12th level, i imagined my body plunging down and hitting the floor with a loud *plop. I though, for so many years human tried to make themselves fly, yet to no avail. the closest feeling of us flying, bungee jump ? Humans are after all incapable of making every thing happen, we are not God, we just have to do what we are supposed to do.

Why do people try so much to hide their feelings and intentionally divulge it to others?

-瑀涵

bcos i din wanna be the ones with the blues.

bcos i nv stopped loving you since the day i met you.

bcos hatred's just a pretence to mask d sorrow within.

bcos silly love songs are too hard to sing.

bcos of you.

bcos you're the reason for all the unreasonable things i do.

bcos i love you.

& bcos you loved me.



i thought 16 wldnt be special. i thought i'd forget. i kept reminding myself to forget. only to realise there's no point for it; for anything actually.

i thought it'd be easy. but it isnt. especially when you're looking at me, but you never see me anymore...

=/ i jus wanna get away from it all. this shadow that haunts. this imperfection that can ruin my happy days..

you cant choose who you fall in love with, but you can choose whether or not to give up.

god help me.

zomg im either crazy or uhh. crazy. i mean, my normal waking time is around 2pm, but tday i found myself wide awake at ten.. and it's pouring outside! which is normally a guarantee for good sleep..

Watching shows really enlighten me a lot. Not say enlighten, but the words they say are really enriching. This world is fair; though there are people who are outwardly perfect, they have a lot of regrets. Understand this yourself. Hahs.

Everyone is the writer of his life, one wrong chapter might just be the end of the life. And whose fault we wonder ? The author's. So right now, I am convinced. Every one is convinced by the cruelty of this world, how much it caused us to waver in our moral values. We lie to cover up our own mistakes, for the benefit of our interests. No one is a sane, but nothing is stopping us to be one. Except your inner soul. How strong is it to withstand the temptations from outside. We will all come to realise that 'holy people' come from very poor places, their characters are moulded since young, the very day they were born. Because they are not exposed to the wealth and greed of this world. So Singapore really isn't a good place. My mum wanted to bring me back to Malaysia, because she feels that we are too lazy, too reliant, too whatever over here. lols, she was the one who wanted us to be Singapore-educated.

Eunice, I really don't want to be a cleaner in future! So I am going to study hard. So must you ! Remember this, dreams are forever dreams if no action is put into it. Anyway, put a tagboard or comments area up yourself. Html makes me giddy !

-瑀涵

people, at 4.27pm on 13 June 2007, i found the thing i want more than anything i've ever wanted in my life..

.. so admist my busy life i found myself sitting in the dental chair again. & everytime i think there's just no possible way my braces can get any tighter, dr boey will just pull out some new stuff and make it tighter. first it was stupid contracting wires, then now it's twelve chained link rubberbands. ew.. okay only the braces community will knw wad im talking abt but still- who think of all these stuff? once the teeth is straight (which mine is abt 9mths ago) we shld jus get the braces out. =D and then i can eat corn without fear of it being stuck hahahaha. -_-

and then i found myself going to the other end of singapore, this ulu camp on diaryfarm road, CHOA CHU KANG (god knws i've never stepped anywhere near there before).. camping. let's see. i've been to about 20+ camps before, and everytime before i go i wonder why i signed up for it. lol. well. im just really not a sleeping-bag person i guess. hahaha. i HATE sleeping bags. who created the idea of humans sleeping in bags anyway. humans sleep on BED.. but oh well. if not for sleeping bags i'd probably sleep on the floor, so i jus quit complaining. but as alws i feel like my bones were breaking the nxt morning.

okay i digressed. where was i? oh yea the camp. it was a Youth Volunteer camp, and the whole objective of the camp is to get ready for the attachment programme helping out at some elderly home. i think i signed up for it in a moment of folly hahaha. but it turned out to be a pleasant surprise. wad really impressed me was that the people there all sort of all signed up from their own free will... so thus, everyone was really enthu & high & really volunteers for things. i also really learnt alot, like how to handle wheelchairs & autistic children.

i love my group. i was comfortable with them, and they were so enthu & nice to niao ahaha. there were the usual camp games, all the water/dirt/teambuilding games. but wad i really liked was that everyone was sporting and we bonded as a group bah. sounds cliche, but it's really not easy to bond with strangers yet they made it easier by being so open and sharing things. =) i'm just sorry i could only go for such a short time.

all in all it was a great experience. there was also the disability lunch, where we were blindfolded and expected to eat lunch, like OMG lah HOWWW DO U EAT A FREAKING CHICKEN WING ha. and the YV song with sign language that i'll nv forget. oh & my cute angel haha.

*we come from different places,
hail from different paths
we wear our different faces,
but we're joined at our hears*

for this how we sing our song
sing it bright & sing it strong
for though we're young we stand up tall
heart to heart we'll nv fall.
=D

then i found myself at guitar concert with the guitar ppl & yun. the music was beautiful, but it made us sleepy. hahaha. even our instructor had tears in his eyes (i'm willing to bet my life it's from yawning more than being touched) and me & yun basically tried to whisper to eachother and try not to get glared at. hahaha. after that we went for supper and we talked all the way. i love how 2hrs of talking to that girl feels like 2 minutes. =)

remember. remember. remember. life goes on.

recently i cant help but feel dat life is so routined. like running on a hamster wheel, you keep going but you're still in the same place.

thinking abt it, my fifteen and three quarters years of life has been based on nothing but routines. my life is based on the seven days of the weeks.. say, every sunday i'll go to bugis temple, every monday i'll have the same after school activity, bla bla. my every day is based on the hours, waking at 7, school at 8, end school at 1.45, dinner at 7, tv at 10, phone calls, the net and all. i thought holidays would bring an end to my routined life, but i was wrong.

it's still the same, waking up everyday to find that im late. people cursing and swearing at me cos im late. and me cursing and swearing at the public transport while i mentally will them to go faster. LOL. i've been meeting many different people almost every day, having different conversations and doing different things, it's been fun and great catching up with everyone, but that's wad i do every holiday.. and it all feels the same. which in itself, is a holiday routine. -.-

im not making much sense, am i? haha.


I guess i jus wanna do sth exciting and different for a change. like uhh, fall madly in love with a german and elope to germany! or uhh, find out that i have superpowers and can breathe fire! or uhh, join a secret society and live dangerously. alright alright dun -_- me. im jus bored. bored of my protected and trouble-less life.

okay, wad i really wanted to say is that sometimes too much of a good thing can be a bad thing. on sunday i went to play mj with my mj karkees and we were all like OMG SO HAPPY WE'RE FINALLY PLAYING MJ!! yeah, every mj game me and woon are bound to quarrel and glare at each other and argue and fight, which is a routine too.. but becos we hadnt played for such a long time, we all missed it.

and i knw that one day, i'll miss my routines. once school reopens, i'll miss my holiday routines.. having all the time in the world to chat, to shop, to slack everyday. i'll curse and swear at my school routined life. when i start working, i'll miss my school routine and curse and swear at my work routine. LOL.


aint humans funny tings? too much holiday-ness has made me feel sian le. i'm ready to start work now.




AN EXCLUSIVE of my wardrobe.. the other doors are worse. i rock right. ehh it might LOOK messy but it actually isnt! i knw where all my things are okayy.



ridiculously cute hello kitties.. @.@



MY HAPPIEST PURCHASE YET!! necklace stands!




only $12.00 each!! told ya i alws get good buys. AHAHA. i machiam auntie liddat. -.-

i was gonna get a black one so it wun get dirty and all.. but how do you resist this??

yes indeed, pink is my weakness. =)

Gave in to the temptations to cries, special existence of them.
my prayers are left unanswered, after all.

When it's wrong, but it felt so right...

-瑀涵

I always feel so relaxed when i am in Malaysia.

Yet back in Singapore, i feel that i have a lot of unsettled matters. Actually i don't have the courage to face the problems here, i have been avoiding them. for the first time yesterday, i wanted to just stay in M'sia and live my life happily ( : i miss everyone there, despite the fact that they always feed me with good food each time i go back, making me gain a kg or two. i really miss them.

i am going to sleep with my phone switched off the next time round. i always have people calling in to wake me up, ji dan.

God, if I pray for courage & wits, would you just grant them to me.
I know you are going to say that all the ordeals I am going through now are moulding me to be a strong and truthful girl.
But Lord, can i just have talents and not hard work ?

My brain is going berserk just thinking !

EUNICE, i don't want to be black lahs. Black means evil, darkness, and everything NOT nice ! Swop colour with me pretty please ? ( :

-瑀涵

I am so furstrated with my long hair.

i've always wanted hair till my elbow. =) it'll be straight and long and nice and i can play with it whatever way i want.

but. it's driving me crazy. it really is. it's hot, it's humid, it's crazy. it's heavy and irritating and some days i jus wanna yank it out of my head totally. LOL.

yeah you get the point right? it's still a good 15cm away from my elbow.. and i jus dnwanna go for a trim. it doesnt make any difference. my hair is already very layered and very "light" supposedly. it'll just be a lil shorter and nothing else.

i want to cut it short. short, as in, boys short.

*screams and faints*

but i think i'll cry like shite. hahaha. im quite determined though, but apparently the shock and horror on woon's face when i told him still lingers in my heart. he IS half a boy after all.. T.T

ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, and even the few flies or animals that might be staring at the screen.. it is my honour to announce that...

MY BLOG TURNS 100 TODAY!!!!!

=) =) okayy fine that was a lie. it's more of our blog, and acty this is already the 101th post cos dear hannie din even realise that she exceeded the 100th post which i was so looking forward to.. boo.

i mean, it's like a bday isnt it.. my bloggie's bday! oooh. let's all clap and sing happy blogday.

*sings in a nice, cute, sexy, campus-superstar-winning voice.* happy blogday to HAPPY. happy blogday to JIU. happy blogday to HAO. happy blogday to DOTCOM!!!!

=D alright before i ruin my image of a totally smart woman, like totally.. i should blog sth cheem and cool like hannie alws does.. uhh.

*scratch head* .. ...

forget it.

after all this is my blog right? and my create post space. =) so i shall type on and on and on and no one can stop me. except maybe everyone will click the X at the right hand corner if i continue blabbering on, yes... oh no. *stressed*

ahaha. alright. met yun on friday at, are-you-ready-for-this, BUGIS! like, again! whee. bugis my second home. -.- yes im going there again tmr morning.. near mah.. lazy travel.

i dnknw why everytime i go out with that girl i alws end up going home with ZERO cents.. we got hungry so we went into this cafe and we wanted to order.. only to realise.. we got not enough money!! *gasp gasp* if liddat walk out very throw face right, so we die die call ppl.. to come and lend us fifty cents. oh dear. my dear fren thought we were so poor and treated us to eat instead. hehs! and to think i brought $30 out and thought it was more than enough.. haiis.

then we walked around and bumped into cherry and josephine!! aHHHH!! so long nv see jo! so we went back to the same cafe to eat. lol.. love those girls, love those times. i suddenly realise i jus saw them ytd, it feels like a long time ago.

caught shrek today, i loved it!! MUS WATCH. damn cute!



know how it feels when someone knows you better than you know yourself? it feels.. scary.

5 things i never realised abt myself.

1) whenever i talk to someone in english, once the person replies me in chinese, i'll immediately switch to chinese without realising it. vice versa both languages.
2) i dun buy clothes that needs to be ironed. HAHA.
3) i own more than 10 pairs of sports shoes (12) but only 1 pair of slippers that i alws wear, and refuse to replace.
4) i have a habit of looking at my watch whether it's there or not.
5) no matter how much i like sth, i wun buy it unless it's a good buy. or unless it's retarded & pink & fluffy. (this one not very true!) -_-

*no eunice no!! impulsive buy alert!~ *

It feels good to be occupied. Now I know why people on the verge of breaking down would bury in their work, it gives them no time to think of other stuffs. Indeed, my mind is so focused in doing my work that I really don’t want to think of unhappy events. Not that there is any major events, but I have been feeling so down and sensitive towards everything, it upsets me a lot. I think is psychological change, caused by the number one hated moment-squish.

Anyway, this is going to be a tired day I guess. I am stuffing a lot of food into my mouth for energy later on. I will have to give lings a call at 5, watch my favourite show at 6. Sleep at 7, wake up at 0930, leave for school at 1030, then finally, reach lavender at 1230 to meet my uncle, and off to Malaysia I go. Hehs, I will get to sleep in his car then! Happy day, fun filled day! I like!]

-瑀涵

I suddenly thought of my birthday (Hey, it’s coming alright!). And now I am a little afraid, because at that time O’s isn’t over yet. I am really stressing myself a little too much over that dumb O’s. I didn’t do well, despite putting in a lot of effort for this MYE. I am thinking perhaps my results will be the same for O’s. Have been having sleepless nights, just thinking about my future.

Then again, if I have the time thinking about something I cannot change, why shouldn’t I spend my time studying? At least doing the same revision over and over again. I am tired, really tired of doing the same thing over and over again.

I always say I want to be a top-notch banker. But girl, do you think life is easy? I wish that I were the one living in a big house with people serving me; I don’t care if I am living off my parents’ efforts. I want an easy life, who doesn’t? Furthermore, I am a girl, I want to be pampered, and I want to be doted on.

Like oh haha. Life’s really a big joke.

I really don’t like to be the one waiting, to feel like I am so redundant. There will be times when I feel ignored and neglected, there are also moments where I want to be alone. But of all, I wish that you were the one being by my side and taking care of me. It’s now the time for me to be less dependent on you, and hit my books like how I would in the past. I can feel the gap widening each day, but I am afraid a word from me would further widen the gap.

What am I thinking? I am too sensitive a girl. But it’s true you’ve changed after all.

Being selective of the reality I accept is a scary thing.

-瑀涵

It has been a dream, so realistic. It seemed so real. When a feeling so true enclosed my naivety, reality burst the protective bubble. Only recently, reality called me back.

How long had I rejected reality, and it struck hard, ejecting me straight into trains of thoughts. I still cannot decipher them yet, so there isn’t going to be much of content here. When I can fathom the underlying meaning.

Sometimes in the night, I will reminisce. I will think not of my happy moments, but of the people I missed, the laughter I sacrificed in exchange for a love. I thought of those whom I met and will never encounter again, I thought of those I disappointed, I thought of those whom I treasured yet treated me like thrash. Because I really miss them, and then again, I know that nothing lasts. People come and go, they leave footprints in your heart, or perhaps you have forgotten them.

All they leave is but moments yet to be erased, and they vanish into thin air. Simple.

Then again, who isn’t troubled by affairs?

When everyone is seeking happiness, I thought that I am over that boundary.

-------


cartel yesterday was bliss. Hahs. Weehoe was working yesterday so i insisted that he served me, and he bcame the joke among the staffs there. Anyway,the working environment is fun, lik ethe tampines branch ! i like. then again, the manager asked if i am interested in working, thought he was joking with me, but he asked ling to ask me again ! so honoured ( ; but i do know my focus and all. But if he's still going to hire me even if i am not going to work much, then no harm is done. everyone knows yeehan needs extra extra pocket money ! hahs.




Finally a serious photo, but sorry lings, you are cut from it ! i cannot handle my phone well >. <>

posted by HAN at 8:41 AM 0 Comments

YYYYY

Th e B es t Mo me nt s I n L if e

1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing till your stomach hurts.
3. Enjoying a ride down the ocuntry side.
4. Listening to your favorite song on the radio.
5. Going to sleep listening to the rain pouring outside.
6. Getting out of the shower and wrapping yourself with a warm, fuzzy towel.
7. Passing your final exams with good grades.
8. Being part of an interesting conversation.
9. Finding some money in some old pants.
10. Laughing at yourself.
11. Sharing a wonderful dinner with all your friends.
12. Laughing without a reason.
13. "Accidentally" hearing someone say somthing good about you.
14. Watching the sunset.
15. Listening to a song that reminds you of an important person in your life.
16. Receiving or giving your first kiss.
17. Feeling this movement in your body when seeing this "special" someone.
18. Having a great time with your friends.
19. Seeing the one you love happy.
20. Wearing the shirt of a person you love and smelling his/her perfume.
21. Visiting an old friend of yours and remembering great memories.
22. Hearing some telling you "I LOVE YOU"

i love you.

-eu <3

today, i was wondering about predictability.

last night kai called me at 4am. he told me he and hannie had been talking on the phone from 1-3, and they predicted all the things i would say in a coversation.. and darn, they got it. from the way i answer the phone to the way i alws get niao-ed back in the end... tsk! haha.

but i was thinking, that's wad counts bah. as time passes, you'll get to know your fren so well, you'll be able to finish their sentences, or even pick up the way they say things! haha. i think it nice that people can actually predict wad you're going to say. =D

like when i asked wenyi if she liked the camp tee, i knew she'll say "not bad." haha! when i ask meiyun if wanna go shopping, i knew she'll say "bu cuo ar!" when i make fun of cynthia's wawa, i knew she'll puff out her cheeks. when i ask woon if he can lend me maths assignment, i already knew he'll say "qu si la!" -_-

HAHA. the thing is, even the most unpredictable person (like woon) becomes predictable when you know him/her well.

hmm ytd i went shopping with sis and mummy! we told mummy that bugis is dangerous and she should stay at home but she insisted on coming. LOL. love my mummy.. i knw it was nice of mummy to take a job that doesnt work on holidays so she can cook meals, but im sick and tired of being waken up by the vacumm. ugh. anyway, im totally loving the fact that sis is working and earning many.. my meals and buys are all free. HEE. yes i have no shame.

then i met wen and we went orchard.. god, why does all my female frens take sooo long to choose presents? AND they ALWAYS don't wear comfortable shoes. =( and I alws wear comfortable and ugly shoes which end up being swopped for the beautiful shoes. haha. see, i can save $ and wear nice shoes.

sure was a memorable sight though, seeing wen barefooted kicking her heels around in rip curl... lol. AHHHH Great Singapore Sales!! it's a festival for aunties like me alws looking for the best offers. =)

hehs. last night on msn jing told me abt 5-day training for her nationals air rifle comps. so i told her im busy with my GSS.. she din knw wad it is so i told her it's a nation-wide event and it is very competitive indeed.. =D

but yeah.. seeing the poor girl so stressed up, and woon who called this morning and told me how he did 10 chapters of 10 yrs series.. it made me realised i've totally lost the momentum to study..

dere's alws tomorrow! but im running out of tomorrows.. there's a huge homework pile and exams to study for, eunicelim.

so tday i went to my fren's hse to attempt to finish my chinese zuo wen.. oh god. the topic i chose was desire. he read it and burst out laughing. i hate him. =x lol. but he supposedly managed to put it right so i forgive him. supposedly desire in chinese is "yu wang" and not "yuan wang" like i wrote.

boy got ditched by his girl this morning. i expected to play the comforting role, but i was wrong. he's only relieved.. it made me realised that when guys knw d relationship is going wrong, he will just let go and move on. while the girls will desperately cling on, causing more hurt to herself in the end..

im turning into a feminist. it just aint fair.

life is hard. (yea a predictable line. =D)

Because what goes about comes round.

I know it sounds wrong, it means evil begets retribution. ehs no, I'm digressing !

alrights, i also don't know why did i start that for. I merely thought that life's a joke, when your efforts are not paid off.

i really have no idea, why am i always so affected by the changes. Let's not talk about those around us. Each day you wake up you are a different being, and it's so difficult to believe that it's you. Perhaps no one felt the change, because they are so caught up with this society, they have no time to stop, and remember how they were. Actually, all of us are like slaves to the world. This world changes us, and not the other way round.

Then again, change is the only constant in this world.



-

Don't understand why, i like the tension on court again, it's joy. Bliss.


> yuhan