i stand wrecked and jealous for this.

how's my life? well my life is..
chem.bio.maths.history.chinese.
periodic table & bonding.genetics.physics.
gonghan.LAdocumentary.hamlet.
Integration.differentiation.ln & trigo.
ww1, treaty of versailles, ww2, hitler, japan.

again and again and again.

stop telling us exams are just 20+ days away alright. it's not that we dun care, but how on earth are we supposed to find time for revision with all that we're expected to do? it's just a mad rush. and im beggining to feel that even if i dun eat, sleep, and can teleport, i also wun have enough time to study.

roar. many people just want this whole thing over and done with. but i just want it all to go slower. want to have more time learning. more time studying with friends. but i guess exams wun wait for me. =x

dream or illusion? we'll find out.

life's good though. i've seldom laughed so much. =) and it's those times that matter the most, when i struggle to say what i feel, knowing you'll understand, and even if you dont.. it doesnt matter cos you heard. yes im chim! peichim. -.-

anw, it's been quite some time since i dislike someone so much. just feel like reaching out and strangling her. or taking an eraser and rubbing away her existence.

yesterday i asked my mummy, "is it a bad thing to kan4 bu4 shuang3 someone?" because i often do, and i find that hatred can blind you.. afterall, you see what you want to see. & i found what my mummy said very true. "it's only natural luh. but if you wanna judge, den prepared to be judged. the only other option is to be someone who has no opinions; someone who alws go along with the crowd. only someone without personality wont be disliked."

yeah. if the me last year were judged as harshly and crudely as i am now, i dont think i'll take it lying down.. to be discredited so openly and bluntly by someone who doesnt even know me.. sucks. but now i see that while i cant say you cant judge me, you cant stop me from judging you too. and to me, you're just an irritatingly annoying uhh.. ____ thing? yes my vocab is limited. you can fill in the blank yourself luh huh. *hints: starting with B will be good.*

girl, stop it alright. why dont you reflect upon yourself for once? the ratio of people who dislike you to the people who likes you... i wldnt knw, but i have a pretty good guess. and so does everyone i think.

and a short summary for my very long analysis? "i'm growing up..!" *jumps for joy*

ok it's back to life as a muggle mugging. oh no harry potter pangs.

imissyou.

what happens when everything you held on to suddenly feels like nothing?

love at first sight? i didnt believe in it. yes past tense.

=x the weekend has been crazy. sister's retro party was so cool. :) pictures soon! and seven or more families staying comfortably tgt at an ultra-huge chalet is one hell of a fun experience! my uncles and aunties have really shown me wad is PRO mahjong players.. karaoke, buffet, barbeque, movies.. yay!

been long since i went without computer... and i must say it's a nice change, just hecking care abt schoolwork. =D finally had time for some long phone calls too. =)

and on saturday night me and my sista went for S.H.E's play party!! oh god i love them. the music was really really good.

sunday afternoon i went to watch transformers! i learned 3 things.
1) never attempt to eat nachos in the dark. i wonder whether the stains on the jackets, seats and clothes will ever disappear. sigh. SORRY =-/
2) never ever, ever, trust guys's or wenyi's ratings of movies. KANA SAI lah the movie.. my harry potter is ten times better. =)
3) never tell your daddy his car has a possibility of transforming into a robot. he will say "YOU WATCH TOO MUCH SHOWS ALREADY!! NO MORE $9.50 MOVIES FOR YOU!"

roar. anw i loveee birthdays. =) love parties, love presents, love surprises. love how the day is "someone's day". im planning another surprise for many other ppl's b'day coming up.

ohmygod slap me. i have like whattttt, four tests this coming week and im totally not in the mood.


maybe.. it's cause i hate the disappointment in your voice when i tell you i want to study. so i've changed. for the better isnt it? so what's your problem?

This week had its ups and downs, like a roller coaster ride, how exciting.

Sometimes as i look at it, i really regret the choices i made, last year. And maybe this year.

Damn,
since i've decided, i shouldn't regret.

Haha, photos as promised first, before ling decides to kill me =/ They are pretty much messed up, because i really hate to drag them and organise them nicely. I am not lazy okays, it's because this is just a break from my revision( ;










Urms, this is what we gave tsesee for her housewarming- sweet ! i am the girl in purple ! ( :










Lings and my hanna, proudly drawn by chenyuhan <3










YAYA ! So cute !










This is drawn by minmin (:










Ling's hand ( : HL is loves :D










Yaya, i didn't want to abandon you there, but we had to buy food to eat !













Quan jia fu <3













yaya keeps stealing my kisses !













Muahahas, the steak was fabulous. Right now, i feel like eating sushi (again) and steak! ( :
but i still have to strive hard to be prettier ! Lols.












My beloveds ( : alrights, it was a matchmaking session for Yaya, but he says, he prefers quacky&ducky ( see the other two ducks at the background? )


---


Alrights, actually alot of things happened. i met alot of friends whom i've missed, all of us changed. Physically of course, deep inside our hearts, our characters i have no idea. but still i was happy just seeing them, all of us gathered together. Eating and chatting like how we did in the past. Sadly, right now i really have no time for all this kind of gatherings, I really have to study. Mum talked to me yesterday, and sometimes i just want to tell her that it really isn't my wish to be occupied with books and notes which i have no interest in. But if i think about it again, i am to young to make any choice afterall, and I am unfortunately not the one who sets the syllabus for secondary students ):

Anyway, i have friends around me. They changed and we drifted. I am pretty much used to all these, but it still saddens me to see the friendship die off like, suddenly, for a reason i have no idea what. But still, all the best to them and just wish that throughout their lives they can really find friends who really love them, and no blindly following them because of some superficial reasons. None of my business anyway! Our paths were not meant to cross (:

{ the english here seems a little distorted, but forgive me, really i'm in a rush =/ }

one line sums up all these days: life is hard for me. :(

i tink.. that even if there were 48 hrs a day & i dnhave to eat or sleep, i still wun have enough time to finish doing what i have to do, much less what i want to do.. =x

RAH. yea it has been THAT busy...

Just exactly one more month to exam.. Oh god. i think abt the 80+ chapters altogether that i'll have to miraculously learn somehow or another... and my stomache just seems to rot. And it's totally crazy and ridiculous and retarded, but we're STILL learning new things, having tests, datelines and projects and all.

hehs. but oh well. screw it. what will come will come. and i'll meet it when it does.

sounds familiar? YES IT'S A LINE FROM MY HUSBAND.. =) from tday onwards i refuse to respond to anything other than "mrs potter". oh god im so in love... AHHH. caught harry potter and the order of the phoenix with my class girls on friday. it was SOoooooOooo good.. really. i've heard the worst critics abt it but i think it's good leh! nice effects, nice acting, nice summary of the long long plot.

and i've been totally living in some other world the last weekend. i've read harry potter and the deathly hallows THRICE alr. Lolol. it's really, really, really good. i'm really sad to see the series end.. no spoilers, so i wun say anyting abt it. but MUST READ OKAY. IT'S AWESOME.
i wanna go to hogwarts.. :I

came crashing back to earth today with the world-shattering maths test. bleah. seriously man, i so agree with cynthia. i've tried so so hard for maths and yes i've improved. but i rly tink maths and my eight characters dun suit or sth. Lol! im just.. alws so careless. so stupid. so. hopeless.

my whole family's super busy in preparing for my sister's big bday party this friday.. but oh god. im so busy. there's alws ten or more things waiting for me to do.. when will i have the time to do my big surprise? =( rah.

BAH.. o yes, and on 19july.. HAPPY BDAY LINDA!!!!
imagine, i've been sayin that for 16 yrs. HAHA. travelled two hrs on a school day from the west to the east carrying an 1/2kg cake just to wish my dear cousin happy bday. be touched. okay fine i went for the food too. HAHAH NOO..! the steamboat was very nice though.. eating beside yeehan spoiled the ambience. lol. so good to see all of them again!!! i tink 3 yrs ago we'll nv imagine ourselves as sec4s, worried abt schoolwork. all that was impt was wad, netball? matches.. tv.. music... and now.. BOOM. here we are, seniors, sec4s.. all preparing for wad lies ahead. jiayou ppl...!

i cant wait for 19sept. i knw it'll be nth but it'll be everyting if i knw i've survived. my best gift to myself.

N I WANNA WORK, wen! buy condo!

im totally delirious. and screwd.

** and oh yes i forgot that the whole point of starting this post is to tell you that i found my phone again!!! LALALA. super damn lucky right. must thank my guardian angels. :D i cant believe it also. it's like, when i truly thought sth is lost, i'll alws find it back. when i tink things will go wrong, it wun. when i think it wun, it will. life's... wierd. AND LIFE IS HARD. *nods fervently*

---------

they say.. the best things in life are shared. i agree. but what if.. for once.. i dnwanna share? what if for once i just want it to myself. what if for once i jus wanna knw that im liked more, if not best? i know. i know it aint fair this way. i know im being stupid and insecure and ridiculous. but i'm sorry. i cant. it's hard not to be sure that im still number one in your heart. simply put, things will never be the same again. i cant trust you the way i did. cant put you in first place like you were. i knw you wun uds, becos i dun uds it myself too. i'm sorry, but this is the way it's got to be. let's live with it. maybe there's nth good abt being number 1 too.

they say.. tears are a sign of weakness. a sign that your body has lost to your mind. the tears are coming more more and more frequently now, more furious and more helpless than ever. the hot, fat drops just spilled over... no matter how i try. because there's simply nothing left to do. nothing that'll ever change the fact that many things are just the way they are. i hate myself for being so weak. but you knw wad? at least i knw i'll laugh as soon as the tears dry. i knw these furstrations, these helplessness will evaporate with those drops... but tears aint a good habit, it wun help, wun change anything. =x so try, eu, be strong. :)

=) loves.


HANNIE WHEN AM I MEETING U YOU ALIEN?

So many things to say, over the week there had been tears, fears but nevertheless, i never spent a day without laughters. So, overall, HAPPY :D

Linda's birthday! I really love it when almost all the girls i love sit together and have good laughs over stupid jokes. Just chatting and eating (steamboat) with them, i laughed like there's no tomorrow ( :

And.. i cannot really remember what had happened over the week, just that there isn't much test! How much i loathe tests, i can't spell it out.

But then again, everyone is asking me to be patient, wait till my O's over. Yea, Yuhan be patient ( :


Look at my hands, and legs, full of hanna (is that how you spell it?) Minmin drew on my hand first, then i thought it would be nice to scribble on my hands and legs too. hahas. So, yah, i am drawn, by myself. But it seems like they won't go away for quite some time ):

Yawns, i am a little tired. Photos another day ( :

Night everyone <3
















-yaya

One post b4 i study and say goodnight to this world.

In the past i would always run to de-stress, as in forget about everything in the world, all more troubles. Today, i feel like running again. i miss the breeze against me, miss the feeling of being watched by Moon, miss the feeling of being able to just run and think of nothing.

Maybe, just maybe i will run tomorrow :D

But i don't know if i am capable of it. Because now my head hurts from a jump or hop, my legs sore when walking. Grr, my muscles are deflating :(

Well, Knowledge too. If you don't study, even if you are used to seeing Aces on your report sheet, it's not going to be sustained. We always need to train our brain and make sure it's still working.

Oh whatever Yuhan, sleep! ( :

you tell me you're in love with me
like you can't take your pretty eyes away from me
i wanna believe in everything that you say
cause it sounds so good

Hi to all ( :

I am kinda like down for SSS everyday - School, Study, Shop. Haha. i wonder what's on my mind now. Alright, I am thinking of my undone physics homework, how long will i get to sleep today, and what am i going to revise later on. I sound like i have all the time in the world, and that i am so energetic that i cannot sleep right ? but actually, i am very tired, as in physically lah.

I really love my classroom, and all my friends there ( :
It was initially decorated with only one post-it.















Then i decided that i ought to paste something that will motivate me to study hard, hence i stick another one today.






























Look at my table & Grace's. haha. Fun in class :D















Haha, now that i think of it. All of them are aiming for below 10, whereas i am contented with below 12. Because, i detest disappointments. everyone does anyway *shrugs






















"So Jesus answered and said to them, “Have faith in God. For assuredly,I say to you, whoever says to this mountain, ‘Be removed and be cast into the sea,’ and does not doubt in his heart, but believes that those things he says will be done, he will have whatever he says.Therefore I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them."

what happens when you get tired of being tired...?

you said, it's okay.. because the eunice you know will never give up. but what happens when eunice wants to give up? what if.. all i want to do is to let go? After all, i should know better than anyone how it feels to be the only one holding on... all the unnecessary emotions and anguish beyond compare. It means nothing to you, and since it cant be everything, it'll mean nothing to me too. I thought it's worth more than that, but apparently, i'm the only one caring. so why bother.

stop walking in and out like that, will you.


but heys. i meant it when i answered the stupid quiz.. "I am happy going to school." -- Strongly Agree.

afterall, horrible tests arent so bad when you have classmates to moan about it after that with you. Long trips home seems much better when you have darlings to talk to. Boring classes fly pass when you're laughing over private jokes. yes meiyun senbon zakura. HAHAHA i still break into hysterical laughter when i tink of it. and yes, i do so enjoy captain ball games with 30 over ppl snatching one ball. lol..

everyday is just so busy... days are flying. and the number of approaching tests are more than One Two Threee. ugggh.

betcha yeehan's busy mugging too. ( i better be right darling. WHY ARE U READING THIS?!) so our dear bloggie's gonna be lonely for quite some time. lol. but we'll both do it. and conquer those exam papers which seems to contain monsters inside. gah.

boohoohoo people.

Isnt it scary that people could forget themselves, how they were like?

the other day i was at the dentist when i saw this photo of ugly teeth.. "who is that?"... i asked.. "you lor.." "NO WAY!". but it really is me. i've just forgotten how my teeth was before braces start to straighten it out.

=x the other was in com lab with lagging computers.. den i suddenly remember that i've spent most of my primary school life with a computer even slower than that. i've forgotten how it feels to have to wait almost 15 minutes for a page to load.

it's like, the mere existence of something can be forgotten once it has been replaced with something better.. like recently a fren of mine who broke up with her long long bf told me she rly cannot rmb how life is before they got tgt... i can remember i once felt like that too. like i have no idea what life was like before i fell in love. like life was just meaningless.

it scares me. like if someday, uhh.. i become strike by lightning & turn super gorgeous, become super rich and lead a great life.. i can just forget who i am now.

i dnwan! the life i lead now aint filled with glory and glamour, aint filled with drama and excitement. but i wanna remember it. :) just the way it was.

dun ever forget the girl you was. remember you were happy. very happy. just the way you are.

Funny, how boredom really kills. These few days in school were pure fun ! instead of whining that school ends at 250 everyday, and plus my SSS, remedials and my mock exams, I chose to spend every minute talking, learning, talking and learning. 4G is made up of very very very fun people. A very vibrant class. Our teacher was nice to let us arrange our tables into urms, V shaped. so it's like choir arrangement, very fun. I can easily chat across the class, okays, interact with everyone in the class :DDD I never understood why i would think that lessons are boring. Come to think of it now, our teachers are trying very hard to teach us, under that bleedy hot sun. talking about that sun, i don't deny it is the source of our energy, but damn, it makes the weather so bleedy disgusting that i get migraines and cuts my trains of thoughts, EVERYDAY ) :














Haha, Orange is emo-ing. It's so adorable, and when I am sad, i just squeeze it's big big head! It really cheered me up alot when I am so stressed up over homeworks !











okokies, i am off le ! Eunice i miss you alot too ! that's a photo for you ! to think of me MORE ( :oh wells, i was in the library, bored ! we can still meet up to study <3>














Cute right the soft toy ! Took it in General office !
I am addicted to my own face, i wonder why. ( :

posted by HAN at 5:45 AM 2 Comments

YYYYY

Stress-- i've alws thought it's a good thing. especially to me, aka ms. no-motivation.. i nv knw i have a limit where stress could take control of my life. i nv knw it could ruin me. but it did.

昨天才沉浸在爱情的甜蜜中
今天却没勇气面对陌生的他

因为我不再相信永远
更害怕一次又一次的失望




对即将降临的考试
更是感到七上八下
上吐下泻
哈！

烦－这字怎么写
为什么隐隐约约看见我在里头

瑀涵加油吧 （：

i cant stop singing this song. x)

从昨天到今天还有明天
感谢老天让你们陪在我身边
爱的心 痛的心 等待的心
因为你们的拥抱我很放心

当初见面的不安彼此的探索
也许有些茫然迷惑
朝夕相处才发现这世界中
没有人比你们更懂我

朋友 姐妹
都已不够来形容
我们的默契骄傲
扶持与包容

老婆 老婆
我们一起打勾勾
请记得约定的旅程到永久

=)) i really love my wifes.

had cip today.. let's just say i wun forget the images of bread-selling quickly... o.o hotdog buns for $2. lol.. and woon & yun terrorising lil children to buy bread. tsktsk. fun though.. =) going all out to promote bread. i even went as far as to say "oh it's highly nutritional and very delicious! it'll give you loads of energy! AND it's for charity!" ... in truth? i will never even dream of eating those thingys. much less buying them.

oh yes. and now i officially consider myself a mochaholic. besides a chocoholic, a coke addict, a pastamaniac.. and a pinkaholic (duh). there're so many tings in life i just cant get enough of.. =) starbucks frappucino mocha rawks!

and i just cant seem to get enough of girlchats too. =)

lol.


*** thankyou so much, really really. i dnknw wad i'd do without you... it's breaking.. it broke. but with you there, at least it din shatter. =) and i knw i'd be okay...

they say, friends are hard to find. luckily i knw where to find you.