so much is happening that i want to record & remember, that i want to blog about.. yet at the same time it feels like there's pretty much nothing. i'm simply drifting.

my work schedule is making me feel like i cant breathe. there's so much i wanna do, yet everytime i make plans with frens we'd go.. "when?" and look at eachother and know that time doesnt allow those plans to realise. it sucks..

i changed my job already though.. i'm now working at a clinic.. i keep telling people that i'm a receptionist. but once someone asked the doctor "eh u change receptionist?" he replied coolly "that's my new assistant." =) it seems like a small thing but it matters alot! i'm a doctor's assistant!

the pay is good, but it's hard. there's alot to learn, alot to remember, and it's stressing me up. how, how on earth do i remember that dexcophan, became is for cough, (difference is that became cause drowsiness) bromhexine is for phlegm & how many times they must be eaten a day? how do i remember that xyral is for itch or runny nose, ponston is for fever/pain & must be eaten tgt with famotide for gastric prevention..? how do i remember wad is zrytec, domperidon, salbutamol, saerogenta & more more more...! & the ridiculous thing is that these long medicine names are the least of my worries.. there're ridiculous patients who simply DEMAND their turn, who complain & complain and do all sorts of funny things like ask me for discount or sth. like wad can i do right i'm not the doctor!

yet on another hand, i love this job. i'm learning alot, and i have an idea wad it'd be like to be a doctor. i get to watch when he does ECG (heart scanning) for female patients, when he does injections.. i learnt to handle blood tests, and i knw more abt sicknesses now... i love medicine.. & I WANT TO BE A DOCTOR!! it doesnt hurt that my boss is handsome & very nice too. =P (he's married. i knw meiyun will groan when she reads this)

and actually... work's the least of my troubles too.

i dnknw wad's wrong. but something is. i never thought that relationships/friendships could be so fragile. at least not ours.. i thought we had reached an understanding between us that could never be broken.. and therefore i'm so disappointed that something so small can come between us and let us quarrel like that... can make us feel like not speaking to each other, ever again.

after some time, i start to wonder whether the issue we were quarreling about is worth our fight... of course not. so then, i'd decide to give in.. wadever it is, i'd try. i'd try to go to wadever you want me to go to. i'd try to forget you made a stupid mistake. i'd try to be okay with the fact that you're busy...

so the story ends here? happy ending? it should. but i couldnt... someone alws has to give in in a quarrel.. but the other person also has to make an effort to make it up.. i feel.. disheartened. like i want to just forget all about it. all about us.

roar wadever lah i dnknw wad im talking.

i knw it'll be fine that i'll be fine. but right now i just wonder why it's alws me trying.

it suddenly feels like nov is gonna be a long long mth.. many of my besties are all over the world and those that remains are too busy anw. =x oh screw it i'm busy too..

别说对不起，别等我恢了心才说不是故意。。