life is.. one big sigh. it rhymes huh.

havent blogged here for a long time. becos whenever i think of my life now i only know wad NOT to think of, and then i'd be thinking abt it and so in the end, i simply gave up thinking. hahaha.

yea i knw i shouldnt be complaining much, not when many of my darlings are probably losing most of their hair stressing over dee why dee axe and busy eating their ten yr series.. but mainly, i'm just.. one big emo queen lately.

roar. emo over grades. i feel like a big fat failure. & there're so many choices. choices that feels like cross junctions. it's like we're all standing there waiting for the greenlight for us to go our separate ways. everyone's waving and ready to go. me, i'm ready to go. but i have no idea which way to turn, which path to take...

i used to say "i'll do wad it takes till i touch the sky".. but now, i dnwanna reach out for the sky anymore. i want to reach out for something realistic, and for once, grab it. i dnwan daydreams, dnwan disappointments.. yet what is a person without dreams...?

on another hand, things are going fine at work. Omygod i hit my commission target of 10k.. in fact, i hit 12k.. i nv would have thought i could. $12000! & oct is still not over yet. alright so i'll jus get 1%.. but i still feel a sense of accomplishment & i like sales a lot. it's been great.

i'm so screwd. & you. you painted me such a rosy picture. a picture i believed wouldnt fade. and then, you just keep walking in&out of the picture... i really feel like framing the picture so you'd stay in. or out. hahah. sometimes i wonder how it is that two people from different worlds can ever see the same sky. and then you say, the sky is the same... for everyone. i don't understand.

one good thing though, cyn&woon are finally back!! cynthia's still busy with her suicidal fren 1&2, as well as her depression frens (btw i'm classified under mild depression so you knw how serious it is)... but still we managed to get tgt for mahjong sessions. lol.



& there're alws pluses in my life. =D hehe.