Monday, July 23, 2007
one line sums up all these days: life is hard for me. :( i tink.. that even if there were 48 hrs a day & i dnhave to eat or sleep, i still wun have enough time to finish doing what i have to do, much less what i want to do.. =x
RAH. yea it has been THAT busy...
Just exactly one more month to exam.. Oh god. i think abt the 80+ chapters altogether that i'll have to miraculously learn somehow or another... and my stomache just seems to rot. And it's totally crazy and ridiculous and retarded, but we're STILL learning new things, having tests, datelines and projects and all.
hehs. but oh well. screw it. what will come will come. and i'll meet it when it does.
sounds familiar? YES IT'S A LINE FROM MY HUSBAND.. =) from tday onwards i refuse to respond to anything other than "mrs potter". oh god im so in love... AHHH. caught harry potter and the order of the phoenix with my class girls on friday. it was SOoooooOooo good.. really. i've heard the worst critics abt it but i think it's good leh! nice effects, nice acting, nice summary of the long long plot.
and i've been totally living in some other world the last weekend. i've read harry potter and the deathly hallows THRICE alr. Lolol. it's really, really, really good. i'm really sad to see the series end.. no spoilers, so i wun say anyting abt it. but MUST READ OKAY. IT'S AWESOME.
i wanna go to hogwarts.. :I
came crashing back to earth today with the world-shattering maths test. bleah. seriously man, i so agree with cynthia. i've tried so so hard for maths and yes i've improved. but i rly tink maths and my eight characters dun suit or sth. Lol! im just.. alws so careless. so stupid. so. hopeless.
my whole family's super busy in preparing for my sister's big bday party this friday.. but oh god. im so busy. there's alws ten or more things waiting for me to do.. when will i have the time to do my big surprise? =( rah.
BAH.. o yes, and on 19july.. HAPPY BDAY LINDA!!!!
imagine, i've been sayin that for 16 yrs. HAHA. travelled two hrs on a school day from the west to the east carrying an 1/2kg cake just to wish my dear cousin happy bday. be touched. okay fine i went for the food too. HAHAH NOO..! the steamboat was very nice though.. eating beside yeehan spoiled the ambience. lol. so good to see all of them again!!! i tink 3 yrs ago we'll nv imagine ourselves as sec4s, worried abt schoolwork. all that was impt was wad, netball? matches.. tv.. music... and now.. BOOM. here we are, seniors, sec4s.. all preparing for wad lies ahead. jiayou ppl...!
i cant wait for 19sept. i knw it'll be nth but it'll be everyting if i knw i've survived. my best gift to myself.
N I WANNA WORK, wen! buy condo!
im totally delirious. and screwd.
** and oh yes i forgot that the whole point of starting this post is to tell you that i found my phone again!!! LALALA. super damn lucky right. must thank my guardian angels. :D i cant believe it also. it's like, when i truly thought sth is lost, i'll alws find it back. when i tink things will go wrong, it wun. when i think it wun, it will. life's... wierd. AND LIFE IS HARD. *nods fervently*
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they say.. the best things in life are shared. i agree. but what if.. for once.. i dnwanna share? what if for once i just want it to myself. what if for once i jus wanna knw that im liked more, if not best? i know. i know it aint fair this way. i know im being stupid and insecure and ridiculous. but i'm sorry. i cant. it's hard not to be sure that im still number one in your heart. simply put, things will never be the same again. i cant trust you the way i did. cant put you in first place like you were. i knw you wun uds, becos i dun uds it myself too. i'm sorry, but this is the way it's got to be. let's live with it. maybe there's nth good abt being number 1 too.
they say.. tears are a sign of weakness. a sign that your body has lost to your mind. the tears are coming more more and more frequently now, more furious and more helpless than ever. the hot, fat drops just spilled over... no matter how i try. because there's simply nothing left to do. nothing that'll ever change the fact that many things are just the way they are. i hate myself for being so weak. but you knw wad? at least i knw i'll laugh as soon as the tears dry. i knw these furstrations, these helplessness will evaporate with those drops... but tears aint a good habit, it wun help, wun change anything. =x so try, eu, be strong. :)
=) loves.
HANNIE WHEN AM I MEETING U YOU ALIEN?

