I guess it's becos of my dreams. which are getting wilder and wilder everyday. i dreamt that i was getting assasinated by my boyfren ytd! he was breathing fire at me...!

AHHH. so then i said "senbonsakura kageyoshi!" (bleach, hahaha. though i keep telling meiyun it's a swear word) and he exploded into nothing!! oh no!! he was still cute though he turned evil ymy.

ahh loveloves! yepps been watching naruto/bleach. hehs. sigh. cant help but wish i live in the ninja/shinigami/harry potter world though.. =) it'll be nice if i can really breathe fire at ppl who piss me off instead of going *roar* and have nothing come out. but oh well if i can i'd bet the homework pile in front of me would turn into ashes.


isnt it funny? when i was small all i wanted to do is to grow up. cos i wanna be able to choose wad to eat for dinner, wanna be tall, wanna be able to make choices. as i grow up, i jus wanted more and more freedom. now, i can make choices, and i hate them. hate the responsibility, hate the consequences, hate the possible regrets. of course, i wldnt want to have the power to choose taken away from me, i wanna be able to choose my own future and stuff...

but a part of me just wished i could take it all back. wish i can go back to the time where there're no choices to be made.. where every morning is spent watching cartoon and wondering when is lunch. where nobody will tell me, "eh, zhang bu da arh?" or "you how old already!?"

many people spend their lives seeking freedom, and when they finally get freedom, they realise that they are more bounded then ever. by obligations, by laws, by responsibility.

and when is the time you were most free? it's when you were a child, with many many restrictions. that was when you were most carefree. that's when you were free to make mistakes..

you knw wad? i tink it's true that when people grow up, they get poorer and poorer. not in money, but in other things. a child's imagination, a child's innoncence, once lost, cannot be given back, ever.

i believe there's a child in everyone though. =) jus that some people choose not to show it. why not? there's a part of me that never grew up. i still like to play with my food and blow bubbles in my drinks. i still like to play silly games and sing songs. i still like toys and cartoons and smiley faces.

i hate to be called childish. becos it just sounds wrong, like it's sth i shldnt be anymore. indeed, 16 is pretty old. but i tink i wanna stay this way forever.. im not naive anymore, and im glad, though i learnt it the hard way. but inside of me there's someone who never grows up, just like everybody else.



judge me if you must, but there're people who loves me just the way i am. and tt's enough for me. =)



YAY YAY YAY HANNIE. see the comments section? i rock right. =) *shows twist and winks* hahaha do drop me a line people, it'll be appreciated!

belinda's coming over to my hse!! she expects to come and wake me up at 2pm acty.. yea right. everyone knws eunice wakes up at 8am. okay acty eunice and 8am is an oxymoron. BUT I BET U DNKNW WAD'S OXYMORON RIGHT? HAHAHA. go look dictionary!