I suddenly thought of my birthday (Hey, it’s coming alright!). And now I am a little afraid, because at that time O’s isn’t over yet. I am really stressing myself a little too much over that dumb O’s. I didn’t do well, despite putting in a lot of effort for this MYE. I am thinking perhaps my results will be the same for O’s. Have been having sleepless nights, just thinking about my future.
Then again, if I have the time thinking about something I cannot change, why shouldn’t I spend my time studying? At least doing the same revision over and over again. I am tired, really tired of doing the same thing over and over again.
I always say I want to be a top-notch banker. But girl, do you think life is easy? I wish that I were the one living in a big house with people serving me; I don’t care if I am living off my parents’ efforts. I want an easy life, who doesn’t? Furthermore, I am a girl, I want to be pampered, and I want to be doted on.
Like oh haha. Life’s really a big joke.
I really don’t like to be the one waiting, to feel like I am so redundant. There will be times when I feel ignored and neglected, there are also moments where I want to be alone. But of all, I wish that you were the one being by my side and taking care of me. It’s now the time for me to be less dependent on you, and hit my books like how I would in the past. I can feel the gap widening each day, but I am afraid a word from me would further widen the gap.
What am I thinking? I am too sensitive a girl. But it’s true you’ve changed after all.
Being selective of the reality I accept is a scary thing.
-瑀涵
