first of all, i would like to invite all of you to rise and give me a big round of applause..!!! for wad you say? FOR ME LAH. =D yes! haha. i did it. FINALLY. after a long long struggle. i won.. perfect score for maths test. ARE U PROUD OF ME? U BETTER BE. GIVE ME AN E! E~ GIVE ME AN U! U~ GIVE ME A N! N~ GIVE ME AN I! I~ GIVE ME A C! C~ GIVE ME AN E! E~ =) yea yea eunice is the best! hahaha. i can imagine all of u giving me a -__- face, but still. must give encouragement mah.

i can do it! yes i can! i can do it! yes i can! okok. so dere were like, 11 other ppl who scored full marks like me, it was an easy test and im very lucky... but still. =) it's just a feeling of FINALLY... my work hadnt been in vain. and i'll work even harder.

but i wun forget to enjoy myself! and enjoy myself i did.. have been yearning for the weekend. and it has been lots of fun! friday morning i went to the cemetries! funny how i look forward to such an event. maybe cos it's more of a light-hearted event. my grandmummy has been dead for like, 10 yrs.. and i dun even recognise her photograph.. no need to say abt my greatgreats.

however.. this year.. i went with my auntie to visit her miscarriaged daughter's grave. and i was stunned. no one told me. she was the same age as me and belinda. i nv knew. when i was dere, my auntie cried. and i felt her pain. i suddenly realise that to me, qing1 ming2 jie3 is just cleaning & putting flowers at graves, but to others, there might be grief.

my auntie's daughter was perfectly healthy. she had a name. she had a family eagerly awaiting her birth... just like me. but she was strangled by her umbilical cord during birth.. and so she nv saw light. wad will she be like? i wonder. will she be like me? will she be pretty like her mother? will she be happy? definitely. it's been 15yrs, almost 16. and her mother is still so upset at the miscarriage...

life is precious.. such a cliche line, but so true. often i've thought of suicide when things get really wrong. today, i attended a sermon and it's said that suicide is the number one killer.. can u imagine a mother's pain to lose her child? i pray that nv happens, to anyone. =x

& it makes me wonder too. abt my own sibling whom i've lost. at least my mother lost him/her in the beginning stage. i remember the exact day she came out of the toilet and collapsed in front of me, wailing in despair that she's lost her child. just the memory of it makes me sick... i dnknw. i enjoy being the baby of the family. so i do not think abt my lost sibling much. but sometimes i think of him or her. sometimes i wonder why it must be this way. sometimes i wish i have the power to change things.

im lucky, i have never lost someone due to death. but i've lost someone i love very much. and to me, dere is grief.. dis wkend, i've read this book called "Lucas" by Kevin Brooks. it's rly good! u all shld try it. =) anyway, dere's this part dat goes.. "true grief lasts forever. if it didnt, it isnt true grief. I know it sounds hard to believe, but once u stop fighting it and accept it, it aint such a bad thing. It'll still hurt, it'll still tear you apart, but in a different way. it belongs to you. But the pain of it, the pain cant last forever.. You cant live with the pain, not forever. Your body cant take it, your mind cant take it. It knows dat if you cant get over it, it's going to kill you. So it makes you get over it."

i dun really understand it, but it made an impact on me.

afterthat, i met my mahjong karkees and we went cynthia's hse to play mahjong! hahaha. time flies while u're playing mahjong! =) so funny n fun. we started out with 60 chips each. in the end, woon has 150 chips. and i have 90 chips. cyn n yun are both bankrupt. HAHAHAHA. so we started a proxy game where cyn belongs to me, and yun belongs to woon. and we each account for them both. more like bridge. things got so exciting we were like, sweating... memorable indeed.

saturday met several frens to go shopping!! AHHH im such a hardcore shoppaholic. i love walking down streets and seeing what's new in town. i love shopping when i have things to buy.

let us all welcome bag no. 89.. =)

and bag 90!! ohmygod oh my GOD i love this bag to bits and pieces. screw u people who think it's bimbotic and stupid. i dun normally go for brands, but this authentic Anna Sui bag is in the prettiest shade of metallic pink. n i jus couldnt resist. the squareness of it is so cute! sorry for the bad lighting, i jus had to show u all now.

im infatuated with it.

cyn claims it'll be 3weeks before i fall in love with another bag, but heys. a girl can never have enough money. or bags.

party sat night was cool too.. happy b'day simone!

today sunday, i went to expo to attend an easter celebration. was pretty grumpy abt going, but i was so impressed.. ever been surrounded by a 5thousand people choir? i was today. and the story of jesus christ, no matter how many times i've heard it, never fails to make me tear. it was really good too. all the drama and songs. dragging and whipping a bloody man through the crowds. nailing him to the cross. and finally jesus flying away. lol.

it was so nice seeing wad all of them prepared for me as their guest, cards and all. but im sorry. =( it jus wasnt my path.

tmr school begins. n it's the same old hectic thing again. sigh.

let the truth set you free.