soon you'll forget your dreams.."

somedays i feel like im losing myself.

my life now consists of Eat, drink, sleep, go school, study.. when i told my fren dat though, she was like HEY. my life consist of eat, drink, go school, study! hahahaha. yea. sleep is a luxury now.

the stress is building up.. it's tests and more tests.. homework and the sound of datelines flying pass.. ccas and syfs. somedays i close my eyes and i see formulaes. yes it's that bad. =(

this is what i wanted, isnt it? this is who i wanted to be. i wanted to care abt my results. i wanted to do well. (at least, better) i wanted to be a responsible and more discplined me. so why am i feeling like this isnt me at all?

im proud of myself for at least being a teeny weeny bit better. it's a struggle to me, and i have to overcome it.. every subject. every test. i have to start from the simple basics. like in trigo where everyone is learning trigo formulae, i have to go back and learn (a+b)sq becos i rly dnknw!

but at the same time, i wonder if i really care. deep down, i do not give a damn abt wadever shows up on my report book. i care more for the people around me. i care more abt me. i care more abt wad i can do for people. not wad i can do for those stupid papers.

yet this is life, isnt it? all dat're important is the certificate. the results you produce. so much so that it determines who you are. really?

these days im jus struggling with self-identity. between who i really am, and who i really want to be.

i love phone calls. yet how do i choose btw pirorities to study for a test, or to continue talking abt our real lives? i guess all i can do is jus to balance things bah. like a shopping trip must alws be balanced by a day of mugging!

meanwhile, im a happy happy happy girl. =D

有我这么完美的朋友。。high不high当然很high!!

days are fun! i love school, even with all the work. i love recesses and after-school outings. i even love the long long journeys to and back from school, cos got frens mah. =)

loves to 4B!

one day 4B went to pluck flowers for biology! i nv knew there were flowers in grass! haha. the boys soon lost interest n started catching spiders n grasshoppers though. -_-

Happy b'day Jav&Jun!

double b'day! class chipped in and me, jo, meiyun went to buy a cake from secret recipe! wanted to draw a heart den put "jav&jun 4ever!" ahahaha. but we were scared we would get killed by them before we get to taste the cake. so we ended up drawing a heart dat goes 4B loves you! sweet day, sweet cake!

love you, girl.

i seldom say this, but i dnknw how i'd get by without you. =)

LOL!! yea i like the pretty boy more.

*gasps* my boyfren is hurt!! =( in the forest of narnia??

dnworry i'll rescue you!

the heroine grabs a taxi and chiong to rescue her lover! but the traffic is bad anway so she pauses to smile and take a photo. =)

and my boyfren is safe and sound again! awwwwww cuteness. =)

dnsay im crazy cos im in love with anime! =P at least they've got perfect complextion okayy. and they can throw knifes at their enemies! haha. this is wad happens on a boring saturday afternn where im too lazy to go out and i dnwanna start studying. =(

i wish we can control who we love. but it's a fact that we cant.. sometimes dere's simply no chemistry. sometimes dere is, but it aint the right one. sometimes everything's dere but it's jus not the right one.

i wish it din have to be this way.. dere's a danger in loving somebody too much. and it's sad when you knw it's ur heart you cant trust.. i wish sorry helps. i guess all i can tell you is that you'll live through this and find someone else.. all i can tell u is i told you right from the start, but u din listen.. you think you cant live without *** now, but trust me, you will..

hannie! im so happy for you you've got everyting sorted out. =) me too kae. im no longer dwelling on the past. im doing what i must. i knw u'll be proud of me! love loves! let's catch up someday. =)

I've never really understood what happened. It was such a strange mixtures of things that i tend to remember it as a bad dream, a dream dat swings from joy to despair and back again in the space of a few moments. I can remember everything that happened quite clearly, sometimes too clearly. I can remember the events, and how i felt about them, and what they meant to me at the time. But, although i've learnt alot since, I still don't really understand what happened. And i don't think i will. I suppose, in a way, it was the start of everything. The beginning of an end.

since im not your everything, how abt i'll be nothing? you're irreplaceable.