Friday, March 23, 2007
Very often, we carry baggages from the past and as a result we react accordingly. The fear that we might not be who we are in the past, the fear that we would be a different person. Everyone's changing, but who's there to stop ? And what's to stop if the individual has no discipline and shame, but only stubbornness and nothing else ?Those baggages are like a ball and chain holding onto us, restricting and hindering our path forward. In order to move ahead, we need to acknowledge and let go of our past. Memories, i never thought of them as bad. I love to reminisce. However today, i realised what I've been staring at on my room's walls, are frozen smiles. Behind those smiles, are shallow memories. For the pursuit of a greater identity, for the pursuit of fame, for the pursuit of happiness.. Almost everyone puts on a facade, presenting nothing but insincerity, abandoning the innocence within.
When we were so innocent, the smiles were vibrant and brimming. Yet as we aged, problems from this pragmatic society take us on and we are constantly led on to find a better identity for all the advantages we would be provided. We tend to work towards a better label, to hit the targets of what gives us identity-results, characters, parents etc.
Shallow. At this point of time, how i feel don't matter anymore. What i feel is right, is wrong to the society. It's a shame and disgrace to them. Too rigid, too inflexible, too protective towards their own interests. What gave them the rights to criticise me, put me down, when they are just a bunch of fake people. Who is good and who is bad to me, I know. Even if im wrong in my perspective, leave me alone, let me regret alone. Return me the right to choose. You don't have to bear the responsibility of what happened to me, because it's my own choice. For your own reputation, you restricted my actions, you sneered at my choice of friends. I don't like it. You are too selfish for your own good.
Yet I'm able forget about the comments, the memories, i'm thus freed of the ball and chain. I am thus able to move forward at a greater speed. And im afraid daddy, you are the one who has to sit back and watch how your daughter succeed, and even if she fails, she picks up stronger than before. She never knows how to regret, she only knows how to hug herself and console herself, she never wallows in self-pity, she loves herself,
