so you think all these while i was blind&foolish ? who was the one who forsaked his family, played truancy, neglected his studies, for his love and friends. your love abandoned you. your friends promoted but you didnt. being two years older than me, doesn't mean that you are more mature than i am. you picked up a habit i thought you wouldnt touched, because you despised it so much when we were much younger. it spoiled our relationship with our dad, because we thought that was what made him bad tempered. so in the end, whose life is more screwed now ? i worry for you, i care for you, i still do, i really do. i dont know how to tell you that, im still the same girl who believes that everyone is good in this world, the girl who believes and trusts in you. the conversations we now engage in, are words to cover for the mischiefs we've done. no more heart to heart talks. no more of those, no more of the shared dream.

remember, we are to earn lots of money, to buy a three storey bungalow, for mum. i suggested to not put dad into this dream, but you said, we run the same blood. so from then, i tried to talk to him nicely, but still, he favours you more. in fact, every relatives of ours. i was jealous, i was angry. but, i still love you. well, i accepted it, because im a girl, and you are a guy.

they say, there's always something greater than dreams. but i feel that, it was what made us so bonded, working towards the same goal. but now, you walked away. be back, will you ? now i fear, because i dread studying. ive forgotten every single bit of those chemical formulae, biology terms, physics calculations. damn them. it's not too late to start, and my dear, you are still young in your blood, wake up to your senses, differentiate what's right and wrong, will you ?



- hannie